What to do when Children are Afraid of Clowns

The first (and only) birthday party I ever performed at was for some good friends of mine. Unknown to me, the birthday child was terrified of clowns. When I got to the party she started screaming and hiding under the kitchen table. My attempts to make her less afraid only worsened the situation. When I asked members of Hickory's Clown Alley what they do when a child is frightened, here is what they offered.

I got this idea from Mr. Rogers. He always let the kids know that there was someone inside the costume, and he usually showed the children who it was.

I carry around a very non-threatening picture of myself without my makeup on. Whenever a child is afraid, I get down on my knees and show them my picture. I explain that I have paint on my face just like the face paints I brought to paint on other people today. Then I lift up my wig just enough to show them that I have on pretend hair. I let them know that when I'm a clown, I get to paint my face silly, wear silly hair, and act as silly as I want to! Sometimes I also show them a picture of me when I was a little girl.

When the child is too scared to even approach me to look at the pictures, I'll usually let mom take the pictures to them and show them. 9 times out of 10 it works!

The most important thing to remember with children, especially if you are a clown, is to not, I repeat NOT surprise the children at first. Do not open the door and say "Hi!" in a loud voice and make exaggerated gestures. Most children like clowns but are still wary of them, especially the young ones.
Think of it this way--most adults are 2-3 times as tall as children. If you saw a person fifteen feet tall in bright clothes and a painted face at your front door yelling, "Surprise!", how would you feel? Put yourself in the shoes (no pun intended) of the child. When I see children, I can instantly tell if they are afraid, apprehensive or open to my appearance. If they are even a little bit hesitant, I back off. I head towards a child who is more open, act scared myself, do something silly and make them laugh. As soon as they laugh, they lose their fears.

Many times I have been invited to a party where the birthday child was petrified of me. He wanted me there because he had seen me at other events, but now he does not want to get near me. In a case such as this, I basically ignore the child and play to the other children. Once the other children start laughing and having fun, the fearful child comes closer and joins in. I never mention his name or appearance on the scene. I let the child join the group unnoticed until he is ready to join in. Then, I make him feel welcome.

When booking a show, remember to ask a parent if the child is afraid of clowns. Even if she isn't, the excitement of the day, having friends over and having a clown at the party can make any child overwhelmed with emotion. Let the parent know that the child must approach you (the clown) at her own
volition. If you force the child, you will only harm her. Be very wary of your first approach to any child. The phrase "first impressions are the most important" is ever so true with children and clowns.

Contributed by Pockets the Clown
You may e-mail Pockets the Clown at Sorly@aol.com

From: MTPO@aol.com
Afraid of clowns-- ? I ask that question during the introductory phone call. That way there is almost never a Birthday Child who is afraid. When giving my "clown tips to help your party run smoothly" I mention that if a child should be afraid, to let him or her get as far away from me as he or she wants to and to watch from that distance. Many times those children will come up for a balloon later if given that space and time to observe from what they consider a safe distance.

In a crowd, I wave bye bye to frightened kids and step back, and that usually puts them at ease.
MT Pockets the Clown
Donna W. Kalamazoo MI

From: Nikkogo@aol.com
Here are my suggestions for children that are afraid of Clowns.
1. I always get down to there level even if I have to sit on the ground or the floor. I don't worry about me costume.
2. I also advise the parents to take the child to the back of the room so that the child can watch the other children interact with me and believe me they do abserve. By the end of the entertainment session they come to me.
3. I have also sent my picture to a parent asking them to put it on frig. and show the child it often before I come. That seems to work very well.
Hope you will try these ideas. They have not failed me yet.
Bonkers@aol.com

From: "d.carter" d.carter@mci2000.com
Whenever I run into this situation and I see their lip trembling I say "It's Ok, I'll come back later". I back off and really pay attention tothe other children who are immediately taken with my balloon sculpturing. I turn to this child again and ask if he or she would like one. If their response is still negative I explain that I am just like them but I love to play dressup and put on silly makeup to make people laugh. I remind them I am a real person who has little children just like them. By being soft spoken, standing a distance away and glancing at them making silly faces, I eventually get their attention. My face is not scary and I have added lots of things to my costume including Barney shoelace holders and lots of colorful bracelets. Many children who are normally afraid of clowns have come and hugged me before I leave. Of course I am mother of four so the "mother instinct" stands out. It is a matter of being softspoken and being patient. Good Luck!

From: FuddiDuddy@aol.com
I go into the area where the party or my performance at the party is going to be staged. I will not say a word after I discover that the child is afraid or even just a bit anxious. I go about my business setting up. After I am set up, I will plop down on the floor, still not saying a word. I may encourage the other youngsters to gather around. I will show them my hat, my gloves, my smile and I may even let one or two of them touch my nose--it may squeak; it may not. If by observing all of this, the child is still anxious, I will produce stickers and make a grand performance of presenting the stickers. Usually, this will intice the youngster closer. If I need to, I will then produce one of a couple of different puppets. For me, the puppets have always done the trick. Fuddi-Duddy may remain quiet while the puppet talks and welcomes everybody to "Joey's" party. Then the puppets will introduce "Joey" to all his friends. And finally the puppet asks "Joey" if want to introduce Fuddi-Duddy to all of the other kids. If he does, the puppet helps "Joey" with the intro. If he doesn't, the puppet asks "Joey's" Mom and or Dad or Grandparents if they want to help introduce Fuddi-Duddy. Fuddi-Duddy still may stay quite, take a grand bow and go right into a magic trick that makes the youngster a winner and a celebrity right from the start. When Fuddi-Duddy finally speaks, it is very quiet at first, then a gradual build up to normal volume. I try to give the youngster who is afraid just enough attention so he/she knows that they a special and appreciated but not over whelmed by the clown. It is what has worked for me!

Senorita Soto will go right into face painting the youngsters that want to be painted. Once the kids see it, they all want it and any fear disappears very quickly. She is super at one on one with youngsters.

From: IMCJohns@aol.com
I don't know if you've ever heard of this very simple - very effect (and cheap) tool for small children. Red "sale" stickers at the office supply store make "Clowns for a Day" or "Instant Clowns". Even the children who were scared received one with a smile. I do foreign mission work and it translates even well in other countries.I never go anywhere without my "noses"
Charlynn "Carrire" Johns

From: MistyOh43@aol.com
For little ones afraid, I always carry a rope with me..as soon as I see that there are little ones with concerns..i put the rope down...and tell them I won't cross the rope..and they have to stay back behind the rope as well....cause I am afraid of them to!!! works everytime as long as they are old enough to understand...little little ones, I ask the parents to please sit with them.!

From: "Kevin" 4duffer@cheerful.com
My character is a bit shy when talking sometimes.. he often nods his head... if a child whether at a birthday party or some other event is afraid and the parents is trying to insist that the child should see the clown, depending on the condition of the child and I'm pretty good at guessing the condition of being scared. I will either act very shy do not make eye contact for long periods of time, but just peek over like a child would to see the child is still there... I never make eye contact because your face to face and the makeup may be a little too much for that child... I continue to "ignore" them and if/when they feel comfortable they can come visit with me! I'm more than happy... but I'm still cautious... because it's still new to the child. But I'd say I've had more children that have come up to me and hug me... Now these days, although it is very sad, you have to be very careful in how you react in giving hugs or taking hugs... I let the child give the bigger hug I'm usually taller :) even when I'm sitting down, they tend to hug my legs at least the kids 5 years and younger. And I give a little pat on their back... I would love to give them a real nice hug like I give my family, but society does not let me do that.

Oh, another thing, Depending on the level of frightened-ness(is that a word? oh well I'm a clown:) ) of a clown, if they aren't like crying but they look like they would like to meet you but aren't too sure on the experience, or you are approaching a very little person, always try to get down to their level kneel down you crouch down you won't seem as giant this way. If possible you could do most of your show this way if it's a small group.. they will relate to you more as well because your face to face. something they can relate with being small...

From: Stanley Hensley <germany@bbtel.com>
To Handle a scared kid don't come running in! First get down to their height, like on your knees or indian style. Start talking to them very quietly. You are like the Jolly Green Giant to them. They will soon come to enjoy having you around and won't be scared.
Kylde:)

Being a person who, (until I was about 16 years old), was deathly afraid of clowns or any characters in costume, I think that I have got a pretty good angle on this. For me it is a matter of control, when I go to a party the first thing I ask is. . . "Is there anyone here that feels nervous around clowns?" (nervousness is easier to admit to than fear) Then I say. . . "I love all kids and am here to have fun and play with you so I'll make you a promise, If I get too close and you start to feel nervous all you have to do is this. . . bbbbblllllllppppppptttttttt" (raspberry) "and I'll step back, so let's try it" When they see that after the raspberry I take a big step back, as I promised, they usually start to have fun with me. I've been raspberried almost to the street when the party was in the front yard. It is a matter of trust and control, they see that I am a clown of my word and they are in control of how close they let me come to them. I've been clowning for about 7 years and this works everytime. Parents have told me that their child is no longer afraid of clowns since they met me. Sniff. . . sniff. . . sweet kids. Pickles

From: ButtonsTC@aol.com
I've found that the best way to deal with a child who is afraid of you,(at a party, or anywhere else for that matter) is to keep your distance. Give the child the opportunity to come to you on their own terms. Don't ever force yourself on them. At a recent party I did, there was a 4-5yr. old little girl who was so afraid of me that she would only sit with her mom in the back of the room. Occasionally I would smile and give her a silly wave during the show. Halfway through the show, out of the blue, she volunteered to be a helper. When she came up, I could see in her eyes how proud of herself she was for taking that "big step". From that point on we were best of friends and she never left my side.

Randall Thompson <clowns@icu2.net>
Hi Hickory, Fredzo the Clown here. (Mountain Circus Arts, Old Fort, North Carolina)
I have done over 3,000 bithdays in my 28 years of Clowining. The one thing that almost always works with kids who are scared...... act bashful and a little scared yourself (regardless of clown type) when you first enter the room. A grand entrance only works with older kids and adults. Hope you can use and share the tip. Keep up the great service you are providing for clowns everywhere!
Love, Fredzo

The following contributions were offered by members of Soda Pop's Newsletter. If you are interested in a very fine website and joining Soda Pop's Newsletter, then visit: Soda Pop's Fun House, Answers to Last Week's Question (10-22-98)

Q: What do you do or how do you react when you face a shy-scared child?

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I find puppets very helpful. Either animal puppets or ones that talk. They will respond to puppets even if they do not respond to me as a clown. However if this does not work then I do not force myself on the child. I respect their space. I'll talk to others or tell jokes including the child but not paying too much attention. I wait for the child to decide I'm a good clown or funny clown then usually by the end of the program I have the child talking to me. They still might be in mothers arms but at least they are talking to me.
Bumbles the Clown
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I first back off, out of the child's zone, or if I can't move, gently ask the child's parents to move the child back, rather than "force" me on the child. Then, if possible, and the child isn't being held, I kneel down to the child's level, and pull out
bubbles, and blow them for a while...
mike stephens
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Most importantly, be sensitive. Don't get close! Many times I get a smile if I act like I'm shy too. Try peek-a-boo... Another ice breaker is to have a puppet, squeeky toy, or other diversion. If no response in a short time, I believe in excusing myself and saying bye-bye. I often use my microwave to do this....You do know what a microwave is, don't you? It's a wave from your pinky! Adults "get it" when you tell them you must go now and use your microwave...
Genimo
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You simply back off. Don't try to be an amature child psychologist. The child is frightend, respect his or her feelings. No matter how great a clown you think you may be, no clown is ever going to win over every child. Accept that fact. Just go on to those who do accept you, and the child may come around by his or her self. Nothing, in my opinion, could be a greater display of an inexperienced clown that trying to force youself on a reluctant child. Some times waving "bye bye" will comfort a child with the knowledge that that usually means the person is going to go away.........and go away.
Jackie LeClaire
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I have clowned at a shelter for abused for 1 1/2 years. When I come upon a shy or scared child I use a body language of the same for the child. Relay a shyness and vulnerable right back to them. In most cases this works but in this setting the childs problems can be far greater then what a clown can overcome immediately. There is always an advocate around and they well know as I do -do not push the issue at the moment . If the body language (and patience) doesn't work , then more time and maybe never getting that child over that feeling is what needs to be respected. As much as we want to believe "Everybody loves a Clown " we have to let go when faced with a situation we should not push to hard. Be vary cautious in our ego taking over in these situations. It can take a lot of training to develop our character and how to handle this and many other situations.
Good luck and it is great to be able to work with that children of all ages, just don't push yourself on anyone-young
or old.
SaraDipAKnee
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If the child is not screaming and crying, but rather acting scared ina shy way. I will act shy and scared of him/her but I dont' get too close. Maybe it's all those psych classes I took in college, but I'm hoping that the child will think" Hey the clown is afraid of me and I am nothing to be afraid of, so maybe the clown is nothing to be afraid of" I told you alot of psych classes. HOwever if the child is screaming, crying, running the other way saying" I DON'T WANT TO GO NEAR THE CLOWN" I will , if I can , turn around and go the other way. or if I am sitting facepainting, I will say, usually to the parent. "I won't come near you if you don't want me to " or kid a little bit and say "I wont' look at you if you wont' look at me". I think there are different situations and each kid will react to you differently so we must assess it at the time and decide what it the best thing to do. Sometimes the best thing to do is to tell the PARENTS stop dragging your kid over here they are afraid of me and I dont' want to scare them.
Tootie Fruitie
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First things first with the scared or shy kid. Back off or get down. If they are being carried by Mom or Dad, back off a little. If they are hiding behind Mom or Dad, squat or kneel down to their level. What I do next is to talk directly to the child, saying, "I get a little nervous around kids so if it's o'k with you I'll just talk to your Mom (Dad, Brother, Sister, Dog)". I keep this up trying to maintain eye contact. I use my normal voice and try to keep it soft. I just keep smiling and telling them that It must be great to have someone to hide behind. Depending on the venue I'll make the child a balloon or give them a sticker or something. If they won't take it, i'll ask if it's o'k to give it to Mom or Dad. I can't remember the last time I couldn't get a kid to come around. As a matter of fact the first time I tried this was at an all day festival in a community park. At the end of the day the little girl's mother thanked me for making her job easy. She never had to look for her daughter all day, because she was at my side everywhere I went. She asked me all kinds of 2 year old type stuff and when the family left I got a big unsolicited hug. (The little girl gave me a hug also.) Don't be afraid to be small around little ones. They are why most of us clown.
Checkers the Clown<:o)%
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I always back away and say, "I am kind of scared of you too" I always try to get the parents to let the kids make up their own minds about the clown. Do not push your kid up to the clown. 9 out of 10 times, when the frightened child sees other kids having fun, they will come around. The most important thing is to keep your distance from the frightened or shy youngster.
Charlie Stron
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Boy, such great answers for this week's question... and I greatly agree with every answer given this week! For some unknown reason, I rarely have a problem with frightened children. I think a lot of it is the personality of Soda Pop... I am a very calm talker when in makeup, and kids seem to warm up to me quickly. But everyone will run into that kid that you just know by their body language that with each step you come closer to a total fear-struck crying episode. Watch for those signs, and just like a stop sign, never ignore it! And if parents aren't aware, put your hands up... like you are a little afraid, and need the distance. Most all of those kids will watch you out of the corner of their eye from a distance hiding in mom or dad's shoulder... and will usually come around. Also, kids are more brave when other kids are around... they can see that you haven't eaten up any kids yet! I find with smaller children, a big help is to keep your hand movements small and close to the body until they become more comfortable with you. Bigger movements tend to scare smaller children. I also compliment them on their decision on how close to come to me. I tell them to stay where they are because it is the best place to watch from... do your thing, and if you have a give-away (balloon animal or such), give it to the parents to take care of for the child - I guarantee, soon as you step 10 feet away, that child will reach up to get the gift - and smile back at you. What a great job we have!!!!
Rick (Soda Pop) Struve

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